32 years ago, changes, gratitude & soppy emotions…

According to thinkexist.com the meaning and definition of the word CHANGE is: A passing from one phase to another - as, a change of the moon; To alter by substituting something else for, or by giving up for something else - as, to change the clothes; to change one's occupation; to change one's intention; To alter; to make different; to cause to pass from one state to another - as, to change the position, character, or appearance of a thing; to change the countenance; To be altered; to undergo variation - as, men sometimes change for the better.

Life is all about changes and I could very well be one of those who know that better than some, especially if taking into consideration major crisis moments.

I am a firm believer that changes, good and bad or negative and positive happen for a reason. I know in the moment that can be unfathomable and our questions are not easily answered. Sometimes they are never answered in this lifetime, at least not to our degree of comprehending.

I also believe, with every fibre of me, that each and every single change is a life lesson. And yes, I continue to learn. I am most grateful and humbled in knowing the majority of the changes in my life journey have been changes for my highest good.

Why am I experiencing such soppy emotions today? I seem to be in a very reflective funk. Just as I have for the last 32 years on May 29th. Why? Simply because 32 years ago on this very day I gave birth to my one and my only child, my miracle baby, my son Trevor John … aka TJ.



I feel such pride and love for this precious blessing of mine, just as I have for 11,680 days, but there’s something extra special about this very day … it’s something which goes beyond description and it’s rooted so deeply within my core, my being, that it just bubbles and gurgles its way to the surface today.

On this day, I would be remiss in not thanking the man who was fifty percent responsible for allowing me to know the wonders and the joy of motherhood. He was the first man I ever kissed and fell in love with. We were married for 24 years. In spite of our differences and taking separate paths, thank you Richard John, from the bottom of my heart for our precious son. Because of him, you and I will always be connected even though we live separate lives today. I am humbled and thank you for your friendship.

As for my little boy he is a loving, handsome, intelligent grown man with a very busy life of his own. He works hard and he plays even harder...whenever he gets a chance. He has a lovely home, a wonderful wife and a beautiful, precious child of his own ... a daughter on the edge of one year old. And perhaps that fact in itself is cause for even greater reflection of the changes I have made in my life journey and the path I am following now.

It’s a path that has taken me four provinces away from my son … mainly because I felt a sense of urgency to answer my nagging question, "is this all there is?" With every tick-tock of my proverbial clock it became more and more obvious that I wasn’t living life to the fullest. I was just existing, whether it was the daily routine of go to work, come home, walk the dog, eat, sleep, get up and do it all over again, or waiting for appointments to see the ones I loved, or being surrounded by negative energy or spinning my wheels in attempting to make a new start … I just knew there had to be more to this journey of mine. And perhaps even find my soul mate in the process, or at least be in the zone and open to where he can find me! lol And if not at least I get to experience living, working and playing in paradise.

I don’t think our Creator intended for us to be alone … he didn’t build us that way. Yes of course we can be independent and self-sufficient and embrace our own space, but as human beings there’s a core desire and need to share with someone. To share our happy and our sadness ... to touch and be touched.

I was totally alone, unconnected, uncared for, unvalued and unloved. That’s how I felt a year ago, and that’s why I made the decision to make a major change in my life. To change where I live. To change my friends. To change my outlook. To change direction. And it continues to be a very exciting adventure. I feel and know that I’m alive and well … probably for the first time in a very long time.

So to those who love me but feel disappointed, embarrassed or ashamed of me and how I’m living my life, don’t take it personally … this isn’t about you… and it’s not just about me either. It’s about all of us here on this earth, how we all need to change by respecting and accepting each other for who we are in spite of personal changes that we don’t always agree with. We need to listen to our own individual truth and live by it. That’s exactly what I’m doing ... without regret.

Oh happy day of your birth dear Trevor. Thank you for being and for teaching me how to love completely and unconditionally. May all your life’s changes be exactly what you want them to be.

Love you forever
MOM xo

Some taxing thoughts...

and a lot on my mind.



As a result of repeated behaviour or programming from years and years of working Monday to Friday, I generally regard Sunday as my goofing off, do-nothing-productive kind of day without feeling any kind of guilt. But for some reason my brain has been in high gear today and it’s not showing any signs of slowing down as evening draws near.

This has me asking WTF?

While browsing for song lyrics in an attempt to free my muddled thoughts, I stumbled on a document with a mighty eye-catching title Thirst for Justice followed by Canada’s Federal Income Tax is Unconstitutional.

Say what???

Written by a Mr. Murray Gauvreau out of Alberta this six-page paper was delivered by Gauvreau in 1991 at a seminar of the Canadian League of Rights and apparently was published in the 1992 summer issue of “The Canadian Intelligence Service.”

Who knew??? So what’s the big deal anyway you ask???

Well, I just filed my 2009 income tax return on Friday only to find out that I now owe Revenue Canada another fair chunk of change which I don’t happen to have at my disposal. Hmmmm, I wonder if they’ll let me tack it on to the balance that I’m still paying for a 2008 tax return error my accountant made which I just found out about last month! DOH!

What the hell, it’s only money and my total amount is a pittance compared to some other folks I'm sure. Besides I’m fairly certain I’ll be able to work out some kind of a payment schedule with the powers that be as soon as I call them Monday morning, but this enquiring mind needs to know...could it be true?

If there’s even one ounce of truth to Mr. Gauvreau’s claim, how many of us taxed to the max Canadians know about this? So to find out if it’s fact or faction, I’m on a mission and I will get back to this blog with my findings.

In the meantime go ahead and Google Thirst for Justice and see it for yourself. Let me know what you think or if you have any other information on this subject which may be of interest to us all.

Hmmm, perhaps we passive, trusting Canucks will finally take a hard line stance in demanding to know the truth about our rights as taxpayers. The only trouble I can see is who the hell is going to tell us taxpayers the truth? Certainly no one in the Harper government would even though “lower taxes for working Canadians” was one of their five key priorities second to the number one priority “cleaning up government by enacting and enforcing the Federal Accountability Act.”

WTF? Say what?

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign ... and symbols

Not sure why exactly, but the last little while I've been so much more aware of my surroundings, especially during my morning power walks.

Having Valleyview Road almost in my backyard it behooves me to traverse its' 4 km from my place up Crescent Hill to Green Avenue which I affectionately christened butt grind hill or BGH for short. From whence I came the most exciting hills are cloverleaf overpasses, so it's no wonder I continue to be in awe of the spectacular terrain as I take each breathless, sweaty step.

There's no words to describe the peacefulness of walking this route and I feel honoured the grazing mule deer and curious quail aren't bothered by me (and others) passing through. In fact the ambience of being-in-the-country-while-still-in-the-city is even more intense lately as the orchards along the winding lane are slowly but surely awakening after their long wintry nap.

Blossoms, buds and birds in perfect harmony are sure signs of spring!

Speaking of signs, I also observed the above everyday symbols and signs during this 60-minute escape of mine. Wow. Seeing them here in this column is quite an eye-opener.

Well it is for me anyway, because the signs and symbols posted above are just a teensy-tiny smattering of the conditioning in our human brain - the control tower of our being if you will. This is what I see during my insignificant 60-minute walk, so just imagine the knowledge, recognition and interpretation of the signs and symbols stored in our brains during a 24-hour period...then multiply that by years or even a lifetime. It blows my mind.

How do you quantify the amount of storage available in our brains? Hmmm, does the brain store info like computers using megabytes and gigabytes? Or perhaps it's more imagery or memory related connected to neurons and transmitters...billions of them.

The answer my friend is irrelevant, because we humans (scientists included) still, to this very day, don't fully understand the marvels and the workings of that approximately three pounds of tissue that's all in our heads.

Signs and symbols ... just stop and look around you ... they are everywhere. Could it be a pollution of the graphic kind? Is it any wonder then that I often go into what I affectionately call auto pilot and subconsciously block that which I don't wish to see?

Or perhaps that could be a sign of being one year older and ahem, another year wiser.

Yee haw in Idaho ...

So what's the first thing you think of when you see or hear the word Idaho?

Be honest.

What's that? Did you say Idawho? Or did you say, of course isn't that the mountainous 43rd state below British Columbia, just south of the 49th parallel? Then again, like me, maybe you muttered the singular word potato? It doesn't really matter because Idaho is all of the above and a whole lot more.

Being fairly new to the Okanagan and never having been across the border here, I welcomed the chance to help a friend with her first load of moving stuff to Lewiston, yes you guessed it, in Idaho.

Who knew that a seven hour drive just south of Penticton would transport me into the backwoods wonder that is at the heart of this outdoors-oriented community.

Unsuspecting and unprepared, a four-wheeling I did go!

Yee haw! Seated on the back of an ATV (sans cushion or padding other than my own), and holding on for dear life to a parka clad driver who so kindly invited us two girls to tag along for what was to be a boys only outing ... I had the most fun I've ever had with my boots on!

The scenery was nothing less than spectacular as our entourage of four machines started out in single file on the snowy, winding trail alongside Eagle Creek. The further south we travelled saw melting snowbanks give way to mud, sand and water holes that brought us to the shores of Idaho's famous Salmon River...and that's where the scenery captured my soul.

I know it was just the better part of one day, but there was something primal about being out there in the backyard wilderness of Lewiston, away from traffic lights and concrete. It was just enough of a tease to make me want more. Even though my boots still haven't come 100% as clean as they were before the trek, and it took a few days for the criss-cross imprint of steel bars to disappear off my bruised butt, I had a blast!

(Oh, and one more thing while visiting the friend of a friend's backyard in Lewiston, I saw the grandest, most humbling gnarly old tree I have ever seen. 'Twas the biggest tree I have ever hugged! Thanks for standing so proud.)

In conclusion I may stand corrected on getting the names right, but you know who you are. Hugs and many thanks to Robin, Patrick, Jeff and Ron for giving me the opportunity of experiencing and spending an unforgettable day the Idahoan way!

Look out Idaho, this adventure-seeking Canuck can't wait to explore all of the natural beauty and wonder that is Idaho. Now I've added whitewater rafting and hiking in Hell's Canyon to my bucket list ... so please don't pass the potatoes just yet!

Employee bag search ... how much more personal can it get?

Welcome to my first ever blog!

Five months ago I moved to the Okanagan Valley and have been in job search mode ever since. I finally secured a part time cashier /customer service position at a very reputable office supply chain.

However, I'm sorry to say five days on the job and I won't be working there no more. (Hmmm, sounds like a song title doesn't it?) But here's why...

Aside from the fact that I want full time work, it came down to a matter of principle and a question of ethics for me. I think it's immoral, demeaning, humiliating and just plain wrong (not to mention an invasion of privacy) to automatically label all employees as potential thieves or bad apples based on the stats of a select few in the past.

In this instance the end result being pocket and bag checks every time an employee leaves the store. And get this, not only during my hours of work but also on my days off should I happen to go shopping there!

For me this means no trust whatsoever on their part. The company just assumes that I am stealing something or that I have the intention to steal. I mean I totally understand their perspective in protecting their assets etcetera, but surely with today's world being what it is (as was explained to me) then why not use all the technology available. Sadly we expect to be on camera these days just about anywhere and everywhere we are, and it's a much less invasive way of keeping staff honest. And besides that, what has happened to the old adage that a company's best assets are its employees? (A redundant question obviously.)

The buzz words they use are LOSS PREVENTION and please don't take it personally. DOH! How much more personal can it get? I must WILLINGLY unzip my purse or backpack and move stuff around or take it out to show them that I haven't stolen anything ... the guys have to empty their pockets.

I was shocked. Have you ever experienced that? For me, without a doubt, it was downright humiliating especially when it happened in full view of "valued customers." Hmmm, wonder how much confidence and trust the customers have of the staff working there.

Apparently ALL staff and management have to be checked - no exceptions. The GM cannot change the corporate policy so there was no other option for me but to leave. It has been a long, dusty road of life lessons to realize that it's okay and in fact it is mandatory for me to stand up for myself and for what I believe in. I absolutely cannot, and will not compromise or sacrifice my core belief and needs.

This may be an "old school" thought process, but in order for me to be contributing, productive and loyal in the workplace there must be a mutually shared expectation of being valued, respected and trusted ... or at the very least honour my rights as a human being who is innocent until proven otherwise.

The GM's last words were that if I changed my mind, he's okay with that because he's heartbroken that I'm quitting. He doesn't want to lose me, but he respects me for talking to him and for standing up for what I believe in.

Don't get me wrong, I have worked since right out of high school, I enjoy working and I need to work to support myself so there's no "Freedom 55" here, nor am I a sh*t disturber. This was a decision I struggled with, and during the short five day span that I endured this violation I conversed with myself, "WTF? So what's the big deal girl? You know you have nothing to hide, you know that you do not steal, you know that you are as honest as the day is long ... why not just be quiet, be happy to have a job, and just go with the flow?" No can do. Staff searching is just plain wrong. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I think not.

THANKS for reading and THANK YOU for keeping your hands off my zippers!